有些急性子

有些急性子

有些急性子
jike

Rebuilding Nearby - How Can I Get My Life Back

——From "Reply 1988" to Anthropologist Xiang Biao

Background of "Nearby"#

One day, while watching a video—What’s worth visiting in this "broken" Beijing?_Bilibili, the text that appeared at the end made me instinctively hit the pause button.

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I then went to search for the origin of the concept of "disappearing nearby." I found anthropologist Xiang Biao in a video from Xu Zhiyuan's program "Thirteen Invitations"—Modern people’s pursuit of instant gratification is becoming increasingly emotional and extreme. Before industrialization, people perceived time through actions, such as the time it takes to smoke a cigarette or burn a stick of incense, which was not very precise but didn’t cause delays. With the advent of industrialization, the concept of time became increasingly important. Time equated to efficiency, equated to money. Time became precise to minutes, seconds, and even milliseconds, but the shared perception of time and action was lost. Time became an abstract concept; five minutes? What can be done? It seems no longer linked to distance or space. *[^1] The expansion of the market and the development of technology further accelerated this process, making people impatient even for a few minutes of waiting. This change in the sense of time not only affected individuals but also influenced the organization of society, with everything developing towards timeliness—fast. Xiang Biao referred to this as—the tyranny of time.

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Meanwhile, under the influence of the "tyranny of time," young people increasingly rely on technological platforms and remote services. The quantified trust of Sesame Credit makes us trust the "strangers" on the other side of the internet more than the "strangers" nearby. Your neighbors, the cleaner downstairs, the security guard in the community, the owner of the breakfast shop, the delivery person, often only have a nodding acquaintance or even no conversation at all. Although our lives are closely related to them, we seem to care more about ourselves who are close at hand and the "strangers" far away. "Nearby" is gradually disappearing.

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Lost Life#

I think many young people have had this feeling: the things we care about are polarized: 1. Focus on self, knowing which university to apply to, understanding the rankings of universities and majors clearly; when starting work, knowing the benefits of certain big companies or state-owned enterprises clearly. 2. Focus on the distant, social media hot news can still "strike a chord" with us even if it's thousands of miles away. However, we are not very concerned about what is around us, what is nearby. Our understanding of life and the world increasingly comes through some abstract concepts or "internet" retellings, rather than our own perceptions of our surroundings. It is precisely the "nearby" that constructs our basic life; the community cleaner and security guard maintain our hygiene and safety, the neighbor next door may be our only source of help in emergencies, the delivery person and takeaway worker make our lives convenient, and the breakfast shop owner allows us to sleep in a few more minutes. But under the influence of the "tyranny of time," we only focus on efficiency, only on achieving our goals before deadlines. These people are like NPCs in a game, their existence is programmed, the faster the better. They meet our survival needs, but we lose our perception of life. Life means we are living with consciousness and relative autonomy; we have choices and breathing space.

However, observing around and on the internet, many young people seem to just be living or pretending to live, and they are very tired. The aforementioned polarization is a significant factor. Lacking nearby life, we perceive the world through distant information. But we cannot easily judge the truth of distant information through our own feelings, yet it can easily affect our emotions. Like map fog, only ourselves and the distant are clear, but this "clarity" is also in quotes. Just like the picture below, the lack of a sense of surrounding life can be influenced by fear and anxiety.

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Reply 1988#

I am particularly grateful to a friend for recommending "Reply 1988". The families in the double-gate neighborhood of Seoul, along with a few childhood friends, are just the true embodiment of "nearby life," right? In an era without the internet and smartphones, the residents of the alleys lived simple yet warm lives. Everything around them, everything in their vicinity, was so real, and life was so genuine. Here are a few points that deeply resonated with me after watching it.

  • Neighborly Relationships

    1. Daily mutual help: The families in the double-gate neighborhood get along harmoniously, taking care of each other, and sharing food whenever they cook something delicious. When Deok-sun's family needed to repair the floor, they stayed at Jung-hwan's house, where "Lady Leopard" warmly hosted them. When the "Phoenix Hall" was hospitalized, neighbors spontaneously went to take care of them and cook. This reflects the close ties of neighbors in daily life.
    2. Collective activities enhance connection and belonging: Neighborhood meetings appeared several times in the show, strengthening their connections. For example, as Christmas approached, several adults collaborated to convince young Jin-joo that Santa Claus exists, bringing joy to Jin-joo and reinforcing the sense of community and belonging among members.
    3. Emotional mutual comfort: Neighbors are also emotional support for each other. Adults often gather to chat and play cards; when Deok-sun's mom was waiting for her health check results, everyone comforted her not to worry too much, and two "aunties" kept her company, making everyone feel the warmth of the neighborhood.
  • Shared Growth Memories

    1. Close neighbors are childhood friends: The five families' children—Deok-sun, Sun-woo, Dong-ryong, Jung-hwan, and A-jung—are of the same age and grew up together as childhood friends. They went to school, played, watched TV, and chased stars together, spending wonderful youth and forming deep friendships.
    2. Nearby places: The small alleys near the neighborhood and A-jung's room are places where these friends often gather, leaving behind shared memories. The nearby spaces became important carriers of their youthful memories.

"Reply 1988" delicately depicts emotions and recreates daily life, showcasing the beauty of life and its warmth, and allowing us to feel the deep friendship between neighbors and friends and the warmth of community life. It turns out that apart from family, we can also find life in our own "nearby" and perceive the world. Thinking about myself and many young people drifting outside, apart from family, the connections with those around us seem very few...

The Initial 500 Meters#

After mentioning the "disappearing nearby," anthropologist Xiang Biao proposed the concept of "the initial 500 meters." This concept is proposed in response to the "last 500 meters" of e-commerce development, extending from a logistics hub down to every household and every individual. "The initial 500 meters" is flipped around, starting from oneself, from the individual, to look at the 500 meters around us, to see our nearby. I hope we begin to pay attention to these people around us, the neighbors in the elevator, the security guard in the community, the owner of the breakfast shop where we buy buns every day, and how these various people construct our lives. Just like the first image in the article mentioned, today's cities have excessive functionality and insufficient ecology. In cities filled with steel and concrete, buildings and tools seem to be established for some function or purpose. Ecology, on the other hand, has less of a strong purpose; for example, the plants and animals in the forest are diverse and colorful, coexisting and forming a stable system. Thanks to the construction of the "last 500 meters," we can "survive" well even when staying at home, but isolating ourselves from those around us can bring inconvenience. At this time, a phenomenon arises: offline communication shifts online, and there may be many online acquaintances in our WeChat list whom we have never met, yet we feel very lonely. However, only online do many young people dare to express themselves authentically.

How to face this sense of disconnection, peel away the fog of nearby, and regain the perception of life?

Start by ordering takeout less, making fewer online purchases, begin to notice the things around you, and start talking to people. The initial tension is inevitable, but gradually exercising this is a good practice for regaining control over life.

From the moment you leave for work, try greeting the neighbors you meet in the elevator, or say thank you to the breakfast shop owner. Suddenly, I remember encountering a little girl holding a kitten in the elevator last week; how could I resist saying hello and taking the opportunity to pet the kitten?

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If you have social anxiety, you can try talking to small cats and dogs: "You are so cute..." You can also try to pay attention to "nearby strangers," observe, draw, take photos, write, or even guess. Guess how he (she) (it) feels every day as you pass by.

I seem to be doing quite well in this regard. As an E-person, communicating with others is a way to recharge. There is a cat in the rice noodle shop I pass by every day; every time I see it, I have to compliment how beautiful it is. When I encounter dogs, I also compliment their owners on how cute they are. After finishing a ride, I say thank you to the driver. After receiving positive responses, I really feel happy. By communicating and establishing connections with nearby people, the initiative in life seems to return to my hands.

Try to feel life less through the internet and distant news, and do not label life; consciously resist feelings of powerlessness.

I recall a question: how did people spend a boring day without phones or computers? Observing my parents and other elders, they seem to have good communication with everything "nearby." When going out with my parents, they can always greet people by the roadside, while I don't know any of them. They have lives, so "boredom" and dullness are out of the question.

Conclusion#

The above is a bit of my thoughts and reflections on "the disappearing nearby" and "rebuilding nearby."

Let's peel away the fog of "nearby."


References#

[1] What’s worth visiting in this "broken" Beijing?_Bilibili

[2] Modern people’s pursuit of instant gratification is becoming increasingly emotional and extreme

[3] Xiang Biao, Kang Lan. "Rebuilding Nearby": How do young people gain strength from reality?—Interview with anthropologist Xiang Biao (Part 1) [J]. Contemporary Youth Research, 2023(5): 1-9, 21.

[4] Reply 1988 응답하라 1988[Z/OL]. [2024-09-16]. https://movie.douban.com/subject/26302614/.

[5] Xiang Biao: From the virtual world to real socializing, how do we rebuild nearby? [EB/OL]. [2024-09-08]. https://www.lifeweek.com.cn/h5/article/detail.do?artId=187237.

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